Monday, February 26, 2007

My name in Gitmo will be Achmad UBU Jihada

Just a quick story on my way out here to Las Vegas (where, today, I doubled my money playing Roulette. But thats another story). So I arrive at the airport way in advance, cause thats how I roll. First, I hate TSA. Not the people who work for them, just the mere idea of its existence. TSA has been in existence for over 30 years, but they did not and could not stop 9/11 from happening. And now we have even more annoying crap that we have to put up with, like this ban on fluids. WTF. It would take a serious amount of any liquid to do any damage to a plane, but I can't take my lil bottle of contact solution on the plane? Sheesh. Add to that dumbasses that really don't need to be flying. On the security table as we went in were all the things they had confiscated THAT DAY. Loads of crap, including, and I kid you not, a full jar of Mayo, Peanut Butter, and Jelly. I just stood there and tried to wrap my brain around the notion that people would want to make a sammich while flying across the country. Also, who doesn't know that you can't take that stuff? Where do they live? Under their trailer?

On top of idiots who shouldn't be flying, I had failed to get my drivers license renewed. This got me flagged for extra security. Now usually I get this anyway cause I'm, well, me. But this time it was cause I'm an idiot who can't remember to get my license renewed. So after I went through the metal detectors, they patted me down, then ran the lil wand over stuff to see if I had made any bombs lately. And my terrorist laptop set off the alarm. In that moment I had visions of me in Cuba, plotting with my other brothers in Jihad to find a way to martyrdom. Then his Jihadi Ipod buddy set off the alarms, and my head was filled with me being stripped searched on the way to Gitmo. So they ran both back through the xray machine, just to make sure I hadn't hardwired the hard drive into some kind of nuke.

Now, the bomb sniffing machine was set to pick up evidence of Nitrates, the building blocks to nitroglycerin, and in ginourmous amounts, how McVeigh blew up the Federal Building in Oklahoma City. What he used was Fertilizer, just like every farmer between Hobbs, and Lubbock, Texas does. The Saturday I drove to Lubbock the wind blew 40 mph with gusts up to 70 mph, filling the air with soil. And particles of Nitrates. So the TSA had been getting false positives all day because of the wind, including my laptop and Ipod. I was off the hook. No Gitmo for the UBUman. PHEW. I can't go to Islam Prison. I'm to Christian. In Every way.

So I finally got through security and flew to Vegas on a plane so full they were putting people in the overhead bins. They had been asking for volunteers to get off the plane,and normally I would have if A. I hadn't chose that flight to get into Vegas in time for Brunch (which was scrumptious); B. That I first had to fly to Houston, sit there for 4 hours, then fly on to Vegas.; and C. Didn't have tickets to Penn and Teller that night I would totally blow if I took that other flight. So instead I sat next to two old dudes who talked golf while I watched a movie on my Ipod.


Sunday, February 25, 2007

The View From my Hotel....


But. I almost got sent to Gitmo to get here. TSA sux balls.

More to come...
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Friday, February 23, 2007

Its that time again...

Once again, I get to escape the lil town that is Hobbs, NM and run away to the bright lights and big city that is Las Vegas. Yup, another vacation in my favorite city. I cannot express how happy Vegas makes me. Its a place with no expectations, no worries, or any other reason to be there other than to not be who you are at home. It can be a tad overwhelming, as you want to go and do EVERYTHING. NOW. LOOOK!!THE FOUNTAINS!!! LOOOOOKKKK BUFFETS!!! LLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKK AT THE PEOPLE!!!! LLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKK AT THAT GIGANTIC SIGN FOR CELINE!!!!!!!! LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKK THE FREAKEN EIFFAL TOWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My first solo trip thats what happened to me, and I came home exhausted. Since then I've learned to pace myself, to do a lil and to soak it all in. This time I'm going to see Penn and Teller, and the Cirque show Ka
. The reason I am going to see this show is that it was featured in the first episode of CSI this season, and I was blown away. I never would have thought that I would want to see a Cirque show as I always thought they were just to Gay and French. Two things changed my mind. First was Love, the Beatles inspired Cirque I saw last time I was here. It was sooo good that I thought "Well..maybe they all don't sux...". Second was the fact that they have a stage in this show that goes VERTICAL. Then, they have a massive sword battle on it, with all the combatants hanging by wires. There's even a massive sea battle. Dude. How could I not want to see this?
Welp, I am off Sunday, and I spent extra monies to make sure I got a seat on the first flight from Lubbock to make it in time to go to brunch. Yup, you know it...Food Pics.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Friday, February 09, 2007

There Can be Only 2....
LogoThere are:
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Sunday, February 04, 2007

My taste in music

Your Taste in Music:

Progressive Rock: Highest Influence
90's Pop: High Influence
Classic Rock: High Influence
Country: High Influence
80's Alternative: Medium Influence

Um...almost...I would say that Classic is much higher than Progressive Rock, but his is pretty close to true.