Saturday, April 07, 2012

Get Got, Baby

Simply a Test.


Its been awhile

And my 3 readers keep telling me I need to update. So I'm gonna connect this to my tumblr account, and that will help. Its much easier to use tumblr, and much easier to update. So if they are linked, then boom Update!! We will see.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Stuff My Mum Says

This is my Mum;

That's the "Oh I wish my son wasn't so retarded" look. As you can imagine, I get that look quite alot. I have no idea why.

She is loved far and wide by all that have met her and many that haven't. Everyone takes her side, as, well, she is Da Mommy. Anyways, she has a way with the English Language that no one can match. She says things that she can totally understand, while the rest of us require a "Mommy to English" Dictionary.  For example, the "Wardrobe Movie" was "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe".  My favorite quote from her is "Petulant is just a big word for being an Ass".

She would also put the phrase "___ your ass!" at the end of almost any threat. Such as "I'll Jesus your Ass!!!". How this can happen I'm not sure, but I don't think Jesus will like it.

So I got inspired after a particularly Mummish quote nearly caused me to pee myself with laughter to share these little nuggets of Wisdom with the 3 of you that read this blog.

I'm in my office when she marches and declares "If you don't come help me, I'm going to stand on a stool!".  Now how the hell exactly am I supposed to take that? Threat? Promise? Prophecy? My brain seized up trying to figure it this statement out.  As I looked at her bewilderingly, she finally explained she needed me to come change a light bulb. If I didn't, she would have to get up on a stool to do it.

Now, as these happen, I will share them with you, my faithful reader via my Twitter, and my Facebook, 2 things me Mum has no idea what the hell are.

Here she is with the one she loves the most, Lorna. Her poodle.  Who never mocks her.


Friday, June 11, 2010

Vegas in the Dark

Its been pointed out to me I need to update this blog, as its been a very long time and 2 Vegas Trips since I had.  And 3 months since I started this blog.

So here goes.

This time I got to go a day early because I got free airfare from Southwest, and then got a seriously cheap deal on the room. So here I am, Vegas on a Saturday night. The first room I got was a ginormous suite in the South Tower.

The only good thing about this was the view from my room. Here's the view right before Earth Hour.

And this is the view right after Earth Hour started

What is Earth Hour you ask? Well askerer, its this hippy drippy thing where to promote energy awareness, people where to turn off their lights for an hour. Incredibly symbolic, and incredibly dumb. One hour in the dark is supposed to help cure a problem that keeps being shown as a scam. Its the perfect Hippy Idea; Good on paper, totally stupid in practice.

Anyways, it was kind of weird to be out on one of the most lit places in the world in the dark. Tons o people where wandering around in the dark cause it was Saturday night on the Strip after all. As dark as it was, with all these masses, it was a a bit like the coming Zombie Apocalypse, but I didn't get to shotgun no one, darn it.

The Bellagio at night. Kinda weird for there to be no Fountain show.

It reminded me of that show on History Channel "After People".  Ya know, where everyone has been Raptured, and what will happen to all our stuff when we are gone.

Here's the Eiffel Tower all dark. The only thing that they kept lit were the emergency lights so no planes ran into in the middle of this. Contrast that with this pic:

Wow, you can see how big a difference it was. Here's the Paris Fountains usually:

 And here is the fountain during the Earth Hour.

See, totally weird. I was glad I was there to witness this. Didn't plan it, but sometimes what happens on vacation is better when its not planned.

Posted by Picasa

Monday, March 09, 2009

My Day at the Bellagio

Slept in way late, then finally dragged my lazy buttocks off to get something to eat. This was done at the Paris Buffet. A fine buffet, but I sorely miss the Ballys buffet. It was the best on the strip, but for budget reasons was shut down.

Here i am outside the Paris. Great Nostrils, huh.

On to the Bellagio and Check out their Conservatory. The theme right now for is Spring, and truthfully I wasn't looking forward to it. I had been here last year and their Spring Conservatory was all butterflys. What I didn't know was while the themes stay the same, the exhibits change.

Posted by Picasa

Side Views of the Bellagio Lake from there walk way.

Awesome mural on the walkway to the Bellagio.

The conservatory at the Bellagio is the huge open area right next to the check in area that changes out 6 times a year. I've seen all of the different themes except the Christmas one, and always is it something to see. I've seen "Spring" more than any other because, well, thats usually when I am here. While the themes stay the same, the exhibits they have change every year. This years, I have to say, is my favorite of all the Spring's I have seen. Sometimes it gets very claustophobic in there because they pack so much into the area. This time was just the opposite. Very open, clean, and just very relaxing. Four areas this time: A Zen Garden, Water Globes, A hothouse with butterflys they always have, and a fountain with a broken statue.

First The Zen Garden:

In the center was this wonderful area with lovely flowers and the awesome water blobes. It smelled heavenly.

The biggest area was this awesome simple fountain that was a basin with this broken head in it and water falling around it. Very Meditative, and reminded me of something you would see in an Buddhist Temple.

Posted by Picasa

Just some other shots of the garden. Again, it was so much nicer than any other Spring Theme I had seen because it wasn't all cluttered.

Here is a link to my pictures from 2008 that shows last years theme. Pretty, but compared to this all junked up.

Vegas This Time

Welp here I am off to Vegas again. Lovely, wonderful, gaudy, Vegas. Been planning it forever, got a huge discount on both my room rate and my airfare. So here are some quick thoughts so far:

Got dropped off at the airport by my Bro and Mum, and had about a 2 hour wait. It was made very bearable by this:

Those are the chairs in the waiting area for Southwest. Free Wifi, comfy chairs with electircal plugs, and my fave Russian Energy drink in the vending machine. Sweet!!

Gotta say the flight was the emptiest I have been on in years. Had the entire safety row all to myself. Watched Swing Vote (***) on the flight on my I Touch. Not a bad movie, but it just frustrates me that in a movie like that, the person given the extraordinary opportunity is such a dumbass. It is always like that. Why is it never given to someone who can actually use it?

Got this pic as we landed.

Very sweet view of the Stratosphere as the sun went down.

Now, why is the cab ride from the airport to my hotel is $15 while the to the airport from my hotel is $12? Same distance, same amount of time. WTF Anywhoo, got checked in, cleaned up and went looken for dinner. Found this:

Hot Roast Beef with Swiss Cheese and Carmalized Onions on French Bread, with a great side of Red Skin Potato Salad. Total yum.

Ate, then wandered around a bit, then crashed. Was a long day. Now, Monday brings me Love . I saw it three years ago and loved it. Here's the weird thing: When I went to buy my tickets this time, you put in what level of ticket you want, and then it randomly chooses a seat in that price level. It chose the exact same seat I got when I went 3 years ago! WTF! How weird is that?

Anyways, more to come.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

How I feel about "Twilight"

Posted by Picasa

Okay, it the realm of total disclosure, as most of you know I work in Wal-mart as a vendor. My company does the CD's, Music, DVD's, and, well, the books. Twilight, and the 3 other books in the series, have made me quite a bit of money lately. I have been selling them like they have crack in them ever since right before the movie came out. I would fill up my book table with them on Friday, and come back on Monday and find them all gone. This causes me a moral quandary. On one hand, I'm all about maken the monies. I would sell a book by Satan written by Sadam Hussein, and proudly display it...if it sold. The minute it doesn't, I'd pull it faster than you can say "Satan Focker".

On the other hand, while I did enjoy the books, I really don't get this whole "Vampires are Tragic Figures" genre that has sprung up in the past few years. Stephanie Myers tapped into 2 markets that are pretty much money makers right now: Tween Girls and Vampires. There are some really good Vampire books out there. Two of my favorites are the Laurell K. Hamilton and her Anita Blake series (kinda an Adult Buffie Series) and Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse books (a hit HBO Series that is nowhere as good as the books).

I blame all this on Anne Rice and her crappy Lestat books. I really hate them. They are boring, and just stoopid. "Ahh my life is terrible because I am hot and live forever...aahhh pooorrr me" Puhleeze. Bite me, and I mean that literally. It is very simple. Vampires are predators. They live off feeding from us. We are, in the words of Spike, "Walking Happy Meals" to them. This whole idea that they are honorable, tragic beings is just psudosexual bullshit. Its projecting their wishes of living forever as a hot rock star on something that sees them as their next meal. It would be like Chic-fil-a Sammichs writing books about me.

Now if you love them, good for ya. If you think Edward is the sexiest thing to walk the Earth, you go girl. I just don't get it. I think there are much worst things to be obsessed with, like Hello Kitty, or those Fake Dolls that look like real Babys. Those are seriously focked up.

Double Update:
Well the movie has come out, and man am I whoring it good. It came out on a Friday, and I had to go in after the store closed to make sure it came out when the store opened. Came back in on Monday, and was sold out of both the books and the movie. Again, I am torn. Monies vs. Taste. Guess which wins? HMMMMMMM

Monday, December 22, 2008

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Thank god the election is over.

The major reason I haven't been blogging much this year is my vow when I started this blog not to blog on politics. I don't talk politics with people cause it never ends well. And I wanted this blog to be about kewl stuff, and my opinions on things that just don't matter: i.e. me. So, for the last few months I swore off posting just because I knew if I did, I would slip up and start ranting about how we are getting shivved by our elected officials, and how both of the candidates make a Crap Sandwich and a Giant Douche seem like good choices. This is the first year I didn't even review the summer blockbusters because of this. So, quickly, here are my reviews:

Iron Man (****) Fracken Rocked.

Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull (**) Right there with ya until the last 15 minutes, the it was all WTF?!?!

The Hulk (***) So much better than the first one, and has Iron Man in it!!

The Dark Knight (*****) Dude. Just focken awesome. Dude.

Wall-e (****) Its hard now to say what my favorite Pixar Movie is, but now its a 3 way tie between Wall-E, The Incredibles, and Toy Story 2. Prettiest. Movie. Ever.

Speed Racer (**) How da fock can you make a movie with such kewl racing sequances be so fracken boring? HOW?

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
(****) I wasn't sure they could top the first one, but wow did the ever. I wanna live in Narnia, but thats not news to anyone who knows me.

Kung Fu Panda (***.5) Wow, a Jack Black movie I don't' want to commit suicide in the middle of.

Get Smart (***) Wow, a Steve Correl movie I don't want to commit suicide in the middle of. And has my future Ex Wife Anne Hathaway.

Wanted (**.5) Would have liked it better if I didn't hate the lead character so much as such a winy lil bitch.

Hancock (***)See previous comment, but does redeem himself in the end.

Hellboy 2 (***.5) I didn't like it as much as the first, but still really a good time all the way around.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (***) Um...what I just said. But, I did like that they acknowledged there are other kinds of Mummy's besides Egyptian. And had no ex-Mrs. Germany Rachel Weis.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars(***) I thought I was supposed to hate this. Hmmm. Maybe cause I am old and remember the dark times when we had no Star Wars besides the gawd awful Holiday Special.

You will notice the absence of some big movies, such as Zohan, Love Guru, and most especially, The Happening. That was because I didn't see those steeking piles of poop. I have sworn off M. Night's movies ever since that abortion Lady in the Water. I gave him some leeway with The Village (but how da fock does a blind girl get into and out of the forest without help?) but that bloated waste of time made me totally sign off on him. The Airbender movie he is working on now better cure cancer for me to see it.

Why my posting has gone way down.

Well one reason. Will blog again soon.

Monday, April 28, 2008

I didn't realize they video my dreams....

Update: Gosh darnit, they took this vid down. One of the greatest geek moments in forever. Its bound to be on Youtube somewhere,but a quick search could not find it.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Kicken preschool ass


Oh those bitches are goen down....

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Las Vegas Time Again

Making my annual pilgramage to my other Home: Las Vegas. Got here
fine, breezed through security without trouble for once (it helps to
have a current drivers liscence). 3 stops on my ''nonstop'' fight,
one in Phoenix. I was waiting in line for the bathroom there,
chatting w the flight attendant, when grabbed the mike and began to
page ''Christian Germany. please push the call button....'' bout that
point he saw my upraised hand 3 ft from him. Seems they wanted to
make sure I was still on the plane before they blew up my seemingly
unattended carryon. Crisis averted.
Got here in time for the magnificent Brunch: of course I ate way to
much, but did not drink to much as my room was not ready and me laying
down in the middle of the casino would not be welcomed.
Goen to see Penn and T tonight. I'm wearing my ''Vote for Penn and
Kim'' shirt. Remember, Dancing W/ Da Stars is cheese, but its high
quality cheese-with scantily clad hot babes.
""...a lot of real joy has been born out of petulance." Penn Gillette
Its Just my opinion, but....

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Getting Motivated

Over at you can make your own motivational posters. You know, those horribly sappy posters that employers put up in a vain attempt to try and mask the fact that you have a crap job and make no money at this crap job. Enjoy

Posted by Picasa

Sunday, December 16, 2007

How I spent my weekend...

And damn its been awhile since I posted. The reality is that its just been a really focked up time for me. Work has just been nonstop, and some personal things have gotten in the way to where I just don't want to do anything. Ya, thats me: Mr. Closed In.

Anyways, the past 3 weekends I have done Santa Claus at the Wallyworld here. Gotta say, I really groove on it. Its just so much fun interacting with these chillens as this larger than life mythical figure. Its amazing how much they absolutely believe in what they are seeing. Now, some kiddos love Santa from 10 feet away, but at 2 feet he's a large red monster. They'll wave and say high, but as soon as they get close they go off like a fire alarm.

Not this lil dude. He came dressed for the occasion. Everyone said that he was my Good Twin though...

This is Santa and the family. Mom is looken really good as she has lost over 90 pounds in the last year because of her Gastric Bypass surgery last year...on my birthday none the less.

Santa and my Boss. She told my mom that it really helped her with her Christmas mood as she is having a real hard time this year as her mom is very sick. Not to sound to self aggrandizing, its one of the reasons why I do is to help with my own "Bah Humbugness".

This is the daughter of my part-time help Shawn Lee, whom I named "Unicorn Baby" because in the first sonogram of her their is a clear horn on her forehead. Now, Shawn Lee deny's this, and says I was just making things up. Ya. Right. Denile, just ain't a river in Egypt. Anyways, she's a pretty baby, and didn't cry once. And now, if I ate her, I would feel a bit guilty cause her mom works for me.

Happy Holidays!!!!

Monday, July 23, 2007

Just in time for the Simpsons Movie, here is how I would look as a denizon of Springfield:

And here I am hanging with my Buds at Moes...and yes, i am the designated driver. Damn that rock!!! Why are you always beaten by Paper!!!!

Posted by Picasa