Vegas in the Dark

Its been pointed out to me I need to update this blog, as its been a very long time and 2 Vegas Trips since I had.  And 3 months since I started this blog.

So here goes.

This time I got to go a day early because I got free airfare from Southwest, and then got a seriously cheap deal on the room. So here I am, Vegas on a Saturday night. The first room I got was a ginormous suite in the South Tower.

The only good thing about this was the view from my room. Here's the view right before Earth Hour.

And this is the view right after Earth Hour started

What is Earth Hour you ask? Well askerer, its this hippy drippy thing where to promote energy awareness, people where to turn off their lights for an hour. Incredibly symbolic, and incredibly dumb. One hour in the dark is supposed to help cure a problem that keeps being shown as a scam. Its the perfect Hippy Idea; Good on paper, totally stupid in practice.

Anyways, it was kind of weird to be out on one of the most lit places in the world in the dark. Tons o people where wandering around in the dark cause it was Saturday night on the Strip after all. As dark as it was, with all these masses, it was a a bit like the coming Zombie Apocalypse, but I didn't get to shotgun no one, darn it.

The Bellagio at night. Kinda weird for there to be no Fountain show.

It reminded me of that show on History Channel "After People".  Ya know, where everyone has been Raptured, and what will happen to all our stuff when we are gone.

Here's the Eiffel Tower all dark. The only thing that they kept lit were the emergency lights so no planes ran into in the middle of this. Contrast that with this pic:

Wow, you can see how big a difference it was. Here's the Paris Fountains usually:

 And here is the fountain during the Earth Hour.

See, totally weird. I was glad I was there to witness this. Didn't plan it, but sometimes what happens on vacation is better when its not planned.

My Day at the Bellagio

Slept in way late, then finally dragged my lazy buttocks off to get something to eat. This was done at the Paris Buffet. A fine buffet, but I sorely miss the Ballys buffet. It was the best on the strip, but for budget reasons was shut down.

Here i am outside the Paris. Great Nostrils, huh.

On to the Bellagio and Check out their Conservatory. The theme right now for is Spring, and truthfully I wasn't looking forward to it. I had been here last year and their Spring Conservatory was all butterflys. What I didn't know was while the themes stay the same, the exhibits change.

Side Views of the Bellagio Lake from there walk way.

Awesome mural on the walkway to the Bellagio.

The conservatory at the Bellagio is the huge open area right next to the check in area that changes out 6 times a year. I've seen all of the different themes except the Christmas one, and always is it something to see. I've seen "Spring" more than any other because, well, thats usually when I am here. While the themes stay the same, the exhibits they have change every year. This years, I have to say, is my favorite of all the Spring's I have seen. Sometimes it gets very claustophobic in there because they pack so much into the area. This time was just the opposite. Very open, clean, and just very relaxing. Four areas this time: A Zen Garden, Water Globes, A hothouse with butterflys they always have, and a fountain with a broken statue.

First The Zen Garden:





In the center was this wonderful area with lovely flowers and the awesome water blobes. It smelled heavenly.

The biggest area was this awesome simple fountain that was a basin with this broken head in it and water falling around it. Very Meditative, and reminded me of something you would see in an Buddhist Temple.

Just some other shots of the garden. Again, it was so much nicer than any other Spring Theme I had seen because it wasn't all cluttered.

Here is a link to my pictures from 2008 that shows last years theme. Pretty, but compared to this all junked up.

Vegas This Time

Welp here I am off to Vegas again. Lovely, wonderful, gaudy, Vegas. Been planning it forever, got a huge discount on both my room rate and my airfare. So here are some quick thoughts so far:

Got dropped off at the airport by my Bro and Mum, and had about a 2 hour wait. It was made very bearable by this:



Those are the chairs in the waiting area for Southwest. Free Wifi, comfy chairs with electircal plugs, and my fave Russian Energy drink in the vending machine. Sweet!!

Gotta say the flight was the emptiest I have been on in years. Had the entire safety row all to myself. Watched Swing Vote (***) on the flight on my I Touch. Not a bad movie, but it just frustrates me that in a movie like that, the person given the extraordinary opportunity is such a dumbass. It is always like that. Why is it never given to someone who can actually use it?

Got this pic as we landed.



Very sweet view of the Stratosphere as the sun went down.

Now, why is the cab ride from the airport to my hotel is $15 while the to the airport from my hotel is $12? Same distance, same amount of time. WTF Anywhoo, got checked in, cleaned up and went looken for dinner. Found this:



Hot Roast Beef with Swiss Cheese and Carmalized Onions on French Bread, with a great side of Red Skin Potato Salad. Total yum.

Ate, then wandered around a bit, then crashed. Was a long day. Now, Monday brings me Love . I saw it three years ago and loved it. Here's the weird thing: When I went to buy my tickets this time, you put in what level of ticket you want, and then it randomly chooses a seat in that price level. It chose the exact same seat I got when I went 3 years ago! WTF! How weird is that?

Anyways, more to come.

Las Vegas Time Again

Making my annual pilgramage to my other Home: Las Vegas. Got here
fine, breezed through security without trouble for once (it helps to
have a current drivers liscence). 3 stops on my ''nonstop'' fight,
one in Phoenix. I was waiting in line for the bathroom there,
chatting w the flight attendant, when grabbed the mike and began to
page ''Christian Germany. please push the call button....'' bout that
point he saw my upraised hand 3 ft from him. Seems they wanted to
make sure I was still on the plane before they blew up my seemingly
unattended carryon. Crisis averted.
Got here in time for the magnificent Brunch: of course I ate way to
much, but did not drink to much as my room was not ready and me laying
down in the middle of the casino would not be welcomed.
Goen to see Penn and T tonight. I'm wearing my ''Vote for Penn and
Kim'' shirt. Remember, Dancing W/ Da Stars is cheese, but its high
quality cheese-with scantily clad hot babes.
--
""...a lot of real joy has been born out of petulance." Penn Gillette
www.ubusopinions.blogspot.com
Its Just my opinion, but....

My name in Gitmo will be Achmad UBU Jihada

Just a quick story on my way out here to Las Vegas (where, today, I doubled my money playing Roulette. But thats another story). So I arrive at the airport way in advance, cause thats how I roll. First, I hate TSA. Not the people who work for them, just the mere idea of its existence. TSA has been in existence for over 30 years, but they did not and could not stop 9/11 from happening. And now we have even more annoying crap that we have to put up with, like this ban on fluids. WTF. It would take a serious amount of any liquid to do any damage to a plane, but I can't take my lil bottle of contact solution on the plane? Sheesh. Add to that dumbasses that really don't need to be flying. On the security table as we went in were all the things they had confiscated THAT DAY. Loads of crap, including, and I kid you not, a full jar of Mayo, Peanut Butter, and Jelly. I just stood there and tried to wrap my brain around the notion that people would want to make a sammich while flying across the country. Also, who doesn't know that you can't take that stuff? Where do they live? Under their trailer?

On top of idiots who shouldn't be flying, I had failed to get my drivers license renewed. This got me flagged for extra security. Now usually I get this anyway cause I'm, well, me. But this time it was cause I'm an idiot who can't remember to get my license renewed. So after I went through the metal detectors, they patted me down, then ran the lil wand over stuff to see if I had made any bombs lately. And my terrorist laptop set off the alarm. In that moment I had visions of me in Cuba, plotting with my other brothers in Jihad to find a way to martyrdom. Then his Jihadi Ipod buddy set off the alarms, and my head was filled with me being stripped searched on the way to Gitmo. So they ran both back through the xray machine, just to make sure I hadn't hardwired the hard drive into some kind of nuke.

Now, the bomb sniffing machine was set to pick up evidence of Nitrates, the building blocks to nitroglycerin, and in ginourmous amounts, how McVeigh blew up the Federal Building in Oklahoma City. What he used was Fertilizer, just like every farmer between Hobbs, and Lubbock, Texas does. The Saturday I drove to Lubbock the wind blew 40 mph with gusts up to 70 mph, filling the air with soil. And particles of Nitrates. So the TSA had been getting false positives all day because of the wind, including my laptop and Ipod. I was off the hook. No Gitmo for the UBUman. PHEW. I can't go to Islam Prison. I'm to Christian. In Every way.

So I finally got through security and flew to Vegas on a plane so full they were putting people in the overhead bins. They had been asking for volunteers to get off the plane,and normally I would have if A. I hadn't chose that flight to get into Vegas in time for Brunch (which was scrumptious); B. That I first had to fly to Houston, sit there for 4 hours, then fly on to Vegas. Um..no; and C. Didn't have tickets to Penn and Teller that night I would totally blow if I took that other flight. So instead I sat next to two old dudes who talked golf while I watched a movie on my Ipod.

Next...Brunch.

The View From my Hotel....

 

But. I almost got sent to Gitmo to get here. TSA sux balls.

More to come...

Its that time again...

Once again, I get to escape the lil town that is Hobbs, NM and run away to the bright lights and big city that is Las Vegas. Yup, another vacation in my favorite city. I cannot express how happy Vegas makes me. Its a place with no expectations, no worries, or any other reason to be there other than to not be who you are at home. It can be a tad overwhelming, as you want to go and do EVERYTHING. NOW. LOOOK!!THE FOUNTAINS!!! LOOOOOKKKK BUFFETS!!! LLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKK AT THE PEOPLE!!!! LLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKK AT THAT GIGANTIC SIGN FOR CELINE!!!!!!!! LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKK THE FREAKEN EIFFAL TOWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My first solo trip thats what happened to me, and I came home exhausted. Since then I've learned to pace myself, to do a lil and to soak it all in. This time I'm going to see Penn and Teller, and the Cirque show Ka. The reason I am going to see this show is that it was featured in the first episode of CSI this season, and I was blown away. I never would have thought that I would want to see a Cirque show as I always thought they were just to Gay and French. Two things changed my mind. First was Love, the Beatles inspired Cirque I saw last time I was here. It was sooo good that I thought "Well..maybe they all don't sux...". Second was the fact that they have a stage in this show that goes VERTICAL. Then, they have a massive sword battle on it, with all the combatants hanging by wires. There's even a massive sea battle. Dude. How could I not want to see this?
Welp, I am off Sunday, and I spent extra monies to make sure I got a seat on the first flight from Lubbock to make it in time to go to brunch. Yup, you know it...Food Pics.

Summing up my Vacation.

This one was a bit different than the one I took at the end of March. The purpose of this vacation was to rest, and relax. To get away from Wal-mart and all the things that are slowly killing me. To do things for me. All was definitely accomplished. Here is a quick rundown:

Saturday: Jesus Christ on a pogo stick. It took 6 hours for me to get here. When booking my flight with Southwest, I didn't realize that I would need a change of clothes to get from Lubbock to Las Vegas. What I hadn't realized was that the flight Flew from Lubbock to El Paso, then to Phoenix. In Phoenix I changed planes, and flew from there to Vegas. UGH So by the time I got to the hotel I was wiped out and starving. Thank God for room service.

Green Chili Bacon Cheeseburger with Frys and a really good Side Salad. Major yum.

So after that it was a lil wandering around, a beer and cigar (blogged earlier in that rambling post), then bed.

Sunday: The hotel I was staying at, Ballys, does a fancy Sunday Brunch called the Sterling Brunch hosted at their swank steak house. I had read about it on the internet, and had to go. It was expensive, but wow. I ate and ate and ate and drank free champagne, and ate, and drank mimosas, and finally, ate some more. Almost anything you could want and more was available. It was incredible. And some of the best coffee I have ever had. (BTW, the following pics are just for you Cindy...Enjoy!!!)

First course: Omelet w/Lobster and Brie Cheese, Crab Salad, Boiled Shrimp, Bacon and Sausage

Second Course: Buttery Croisant, Crepes with Banana's Foster, Mini Pecan Waffles with Butter and Syrup, New York Strip Steak, and a "Country Eggs Benedict"-Sausage Biscuit with Gravy with a Poached egg on top.

Dessert Course: toasted Bagel with Cream Cheese and Lockes, Assorted Cheeses, Vanilla Bean Ice Cream with a Chocolate Covered Strawberry.

Add to that about a gallon of coffee and 3 Mimosas....total Gluttony.

Sunday was also show day. In a fit of brilliance I bought my show tickets for both of the shows I was seeing for the same night. The only thing saving me was that they were hours apart. The first was Phantom of the Opera at the Venetian. I love this play, and saw it like a million years ago in New York with the original cast of Sarah Brightmen (then Mrs. Andrew LLoydd Weber), and Michael Crawford. The first CD I ever bought was the soundtrack to Phantom, So I was totally pumped to see this and was not disappointed. The theater was built for this production, and the interiors looks like an old Parisian Opera house. This production also is about a half hour shorter, which I think helps tremendously. The truly sad thing is that as soon as they started singing the first song, I knew all the words and could sing along with all of it. Ya ya, I am a theatre geek.



The next show of the night was the new Cirque du Soleil show Love at the Mirage. Its a show all based on the songs of the Beatles, with the total blessing of the remaining boys. The best way to describe it was moments of absolute grace and beauty surrounded by prodigious amounts of pretentious bullshit. But, then again, that's a good way to describe the Beatles. Basically its interpretation the songs through dance, high flying acrobats, and dudes on roller blades. Sometimes it totally works, like with "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" where light strips had been slowly lowered down above the audience, and the lit up to look like we were in the middle of stars. Sometimes, it was a real "What the hell?!?!?" as with the inclusion of "Octopus's Garden" by Ringo star. Dancing Sea Cucumbers. That's all I will say about that. Overall I totally enjoyed it. Especially the usher dressed like this:

All the girls were dressed like bobbies in these very cute outfits. What I didn't get was the knee socks and patent leather shoes. Yum.

Monday: Got up and took the Monorail up to the Hilton were I ate lunch at Quark's, the Star Trek Themed Hotel at the Hilton.

Me and my new business partner.

Then I went down to the Sahara, where GM has set up a thing called "The Drive". Here, for 10 bucks, you get to drive their kewlest cars around either a high performance track, or, for Hummers, a specially designed off road track. I did both. Sheesh, it was freaken awesome!!!! I neeed an H2. Its truly more of a real SUV than you would think. It can climb a foot curb, take 45 degree turns, and climb 60 degree incline hills without even trying. A rep drives with you the entire time, and the guy who was with me in the H2 used to be in the military. He said at first he was very suspicious of the H2 cause it seemed only soccer moms had them. Then he drove one and was blown away on how truly awesome it was. Not a Poser SUV at all.



Then it was off to see Superman Returns in Imax 3d. Remember my earlier post about Supes? Take that and multiply it by 20. HOLY FRELL. Lets just start off at with the fact that its projected on a screen 70 Ft high. Add to that 3d. Now not all of it was in 3d, thank Xenu or I would be dead from a headache, but key scenes were, like the Shuttle Rescue. WOW. If you can, go see it like this.

Tuesday: Lunch at my favorite Buffet (Balleys), some souvenir shopping, then off to see "The Price is Right". Its a live stage show version of the TV show that was suprisingly fun. I didn't win nothen, darn it, but one of the models was smoken ass hot. Meg was her name, brunette, 5'6", 34c, and very nice in a bikini. Tried to get a picture of her, but the lighting in the theater did not allow. Sigh.....

Then I hung around and waited until the sun went down cause it was only 156 degrees outside. After dark, I took the elevator to the top of the Eiffel Tower at the Paris. I had been there before during the day, but never at night. Totally different view of Vegas, and even prettier I think. Watched the Bellagio fountains from above, and realized that its the only way to watch them. From the street, you miss much of whats going on.

Then I came home. UGH.

Random Thoughts in Vegas.....

Just some quick thoughts as I stand outside the Paris, watching the Bellagio Fountains while enjoying a fine cigar and a Guiness....
1. The absolute plethora of attractive women you see is mind boggling. Whatever your 'type'' you can find her walking up and down the Strip. Now many of these fine specimens are marred by outfits that even Goodwill would return, but still. And don't get me started on the hideous shoes.....
2. The Strip truly is the American Dream made true. Here it is 12:10 AM on a Saturday night, and thousands of people are wandering about without any fear of being harmed. The mega casinos are capitalism in its purest form, allowing all people of all creeds, religions, races, and sexes to come together in peace. None of the artificial boundary's we put up between people matter here. Here, we are all God's chillens.
3. This truly is my fave place to people watch here. It also is home to one of my favorite games: Can they take the Picture Before the Asian couple Walks in Front Of You? Where I stand is a replica of the famous fountains of Paris, and it seems you cannot come to Vegas without taking a picture of your loved one in front of them. The trick is to get your picture off before the crowd of people populating the strip comes between you and your subject. A picture of Aunt Marge now becomes one of a troop of drunken party girls...ah memory's....
4. Alright, lets tackle the shoe thing while I am cigar/beer buzzen. As you stand and take in the wonders that is Vegas, you will often see an attractive, and sometimes even hot, young lady saunter by. Her ensemble is perfect, and eye catching....until your eye travels down to her feet and you realize she is wearing flip flops. Not attractive, cute ones either, but some that look like they came straight from the Rollback section of Wal-Mart. Or even worse, these six inch cork healed sandal's that were in fashion when Hippies roamed the Earth. Look...I understand that you need a comfortable shoe to march up and down the Strip, but I know they make some that are not an affront to all peace loven people. Sheesh...this is what is destroying America, let me tell ya.

Some images from Bellagio's Conservatory

The Bellagio has a magnificent indoor conservatory. When Wynn built the place, his vision of it was a place that included the beauty of nature along with an idealized fantasy of Europe. When I was here in March, the conservatory was nice, with all these topariry creatures in it. Since then, they have done this celebration of America all over the hotel, and updated the conservatory with these mini recreations of famous, and iconic, sites.

Starting with a recreation of the Bellagio itself. It even has working fountains!! Very sweet. It even has lil tourists...very kewl.

One of the kewlest things is the Jefferson Memorial, with a lil statue of Jefferson in it.

More pictures later...

Goen back To Vegas...

Well, I am already there. Got here this afternoon for 4 days of just hangen out and not doen much. I needed a vacation bad, but couldn't figure out where. Then evil Bally's sends me an email saying they have these ridiculously low rates if I booked then, and add to that that I had a 100 travel voucher from Cattlecar Airlines from last trip when they lost my luggage, and it seemed to be predenstined. This trip will be even less mobile than the last, let me tell ya. Hardly any sightseeing this time, just being lazy and not doen much. Oh, I am going to go see Love, the new Cirque show based on Beatles songs, and Phantom of the Opera, but that's pretty much it. The dumb thing I did is when I bought my tickets, I was an idiot and bought them for the same night!!! What saves me from being an absolute idiot is that Phantom is at 7, and Love at 10:30, so making both will not be a problem.

Couple of other kewl things as well, such as going to "Drive", and thing at the Sahara where for 10 bucks you get 2 laps around this race track with either a high end SUV (can ya say H2?), or high performence car (CORVETTE). That will be kewl, then I am going to go see Superman in IMAX 3D!! Megasweet.

Anyways, I will let ya know if something kewl happens, and post pics, of course.

Be good!!

And my other Dark Lord....

Who is, I think, much cooler than his Large Loud Friend. He was part of a way kewl documetary on Houdini that was out at Halloween Last year. 

Me and My Dark Lords

Finally got these pics developed. Out of 27 pictures...these 2 only came out well, and I couldn't be happier. The first is with my Dark Lord, Penn.

Finally, hot Muppet Sex. And a Rainy Tuesday.

I know I know, I've only been promising this for like 3 days, but hey, its Vegas...

So, Monday, I went up to The Wynn, the single ugliest hotel in the history of man. Wow...It took 2 billion dollars to create this ugly ass place. Even my auntie, who has a history of tacky (she had gold velvet wallpaper for pete's sake), would go "Damn..this is ugly".

But I had hear great things about the buffet, so I decided to try it out. After having to wait 30 minutes, I finally got seated. Here's the pic:



What did I tell ya? Freaken ugly..... But the food was great. Lamb chops, Prime Rib, Blackened Tuna, Jamaican Jerk Chicken for the first course, followed by Pasta Alfredo with Sweet Italian sausage. It was the desserts, however, that made it sweet. Creme Bruile, Caramel Brulle, Cheesecake with blueberrys..all bite size so ya don't realize that you are eating something with 2000 calories. That's just what I had, tons of other desserts, including candied apples!!

Then off to Avenue Q. This one the Tony in 2004 for best musical, and it was hilarious!! The best to describe it as Sesame Street for Adults, in that the main characters are puppets, and it is formatted like a kid's show. Its about a new graduated who gets his first apartment, and how he becomes friends with the menagerie around him. And his super is Gary Coleman. Ya...that Gary Coleman. As played by a short black woman. Dude...lol.

Midway through you totally stop noticing the guys running the puppets and focus on them. Well....except for the smoken hot girlie running Kate Monster, Terry Stewart. Wow...very saucy...I was in love. LOL My favorite songs from it are "Everyone is a Little Bit Racist" or "The Internet is for Porn". Oh, and full frontal Muppet sex accomponied by the song "Its okay to be a Little Bit Loud When Making Love" Hightly enjoyable, with a great theatre that is like a one of the theatre's with stadium seating.

Nothing to report for Tuesday. It rained, was cloudy, and just a quiet day. Some lunch, wandered the hotel, and read. Dinner was the highlight, at a place called "Ellis Island", which is right off the strip behind Ballys. Way old school kinda Vegas place. It has been here forever. After waiting 45 minutes, I finally got seated. They have an awesome 5 dollar steak dinner that includes a Salad, Baked Potato, Green Beans, and a 10 ounce Carlin. YUM. On top of that, they are a microbrewery. So with my fabo dinner I had an Ale, and a Lager. And the best Root Beer (yes, root beer), I have ever had. All of this was for 10 dollars. Couldn't beat it with a stick. The thing is that as I was walking back to the hotel it started to mist, then sprinkle, then POUR. Just as I got back to the hotel, it started raining like it was going out of style. Wow. It rains in Vegas...

Tomorrow... Sir Elton John.