Just in time for the Simpsons Movie, here is how I would look as a denizon of Springfield:
And here I am hanging with my Buds at Moes...and yes, i am the designated driver. Damn that rock!!! Why are you always beaten by Paper!!!!
Monday, July 23, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
The Summer of Contradiction
It was supposed to be the single greatest summer for movies ever!!! I mean, each week we were supposed to get one movie after another that just blew our socks off. Life changing, emotional, magnificent pieces of cinema that would make strong men weep, and women swoon.
Well...its been....kinda boring. Pirates was just more boring than exciting, Spider-Man 3 just was lots of sound and fury, and not much else. And lets not mention Shrek 3 ever again, K?
Fortunately, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (***) actually was very fun, with great effects, and was better than the original. And Ocean's Thirteen (***) was just 2 hours of total fun. This is the movie they should have made rather than that looooooooooongg boring thing they did for the second movie. They looked like they were having fun, and wanted us to come along for the ride.
Then came the shining stars of the summer.
Live Free or Die Hard(****) blew my friggen socks off. I have a serious man crush on Bruce Willis as it is, but this movie took that to full love. Fun, exciting, with magnificent stunt work and a story that just hooks ya from the beginning. Kevin Smith's cameo as a Jedi Hacker totally rocked. Not a dull moment in the whole darn movie. Mary Elizabeth Winstead is McClain's ass kicking daughter, and gets in some great licks. My only complaint is that the bad guy, Tom Olyphant, is just not as charismatic as Alan Rickman, but then who is?
Transformers(****)is my secret shame. When I heard they were doing a live action movie based on toys I just do not get (I mean, why the heck do alien robots from space come all this way to look like a truck?) I was beyond skeptical. Then I saw the trailer, and had that feeling in the pit of my stomach I might be eating some crow. Now that I have seen it? Nope, not some crow, a whole friggen murder of crow. This movie, from beginning to end, was spectacular. I loved the characters, the story, the effects, and that freaken awesome sound they make when they transform is now my ring tone. Shia LaBouf carries this movie, and should be given a huge round of applause. Before this he was only in some tween Disney Comedies, but here really shines. If we don't like his character, we just don't by this movie, and he not only like him, but root for him. Megan Fox, his love interest, is so hot she seems almost like she is made from CGI, but is also is a well rounded character in her own right. Now I know that the robots are all CGI, but WOW. The T-rex in Jurassic Park seems like a child's crayon drawing compared to these guys.
I know your thinking "Hey Christian, what about Ratatouille(**)? You are a Pixar freak, so you loved this, right?" Nope. This movie disappointed me more than any other movie I have seen this summer. I freely admit my huge love of all Pixar movies, and had very high hopes for this movie. All the adds, every trailer I saw made me want to not only see this movie, but want to buy it. The reality is there is just not much here. The characters never develop, and the story, what little their is of it, meanders around with no purpose. It is, however, the most beautiful animated movie I have ever seen. Beyond photo realistic, it makes me want to go to Paris, even though we hate the French and the closest we want to get is the Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas. And, lets be honest, the whole notion of a rat cooking just skeeves me out.
Well, we still have The Simpson's Movie
Well...its been....kinda boring. Pirates was just more boring than exciting, Spider-Man 3 just was lots of sound and fury, and not much else. And lets not mention Shrek 3 ever again, K?
Fortunately, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (***) actually was very fun, with great effects, and was better than the original. And Ocean's Thirteen (***) was just 2 hours of total fun. This is the movie they should have made rather than that looooooooooongg boring thing they did for the second movie. They looked like they were having fun, and wanted us to come along for the ride.
Then came the shining stars of the summer.
Live Free or Die Hard(****) blew my friggen socks off. I have a serious man crush on Bruce Willis as it is, but this movie took that to full love. Fun, exciting, with magnificent stunt work and a story that just hooks ya from the beginning. Kevin Smith's cameo as a Jedi Hacker totally rocked. Not a dull moment in the whole darn movie. Mary Elizabeth Winstead is McClain's ass kicking daughter, and gets in some great licks. My only complaint is that the bad guy, Tom Olyphant, is just not as charismatic as Alan Rickman, but then who is?
Transformers(****)is my secret shame. When I heard they were doing a live action movie based on toys I just do not get (I mean, why the heck do alien robots from space come all this way to look like a truck?) I was beyond skeptical. Then I saw the trailer, and had that feeling in the pit of my stomach I might be eating some crow. Now that I have seen it? Nope, not some crow, a whole friggen murder of crow. This movie, from beginning to end, was spectacular. I loved the characters, the story, the effects, and that freaken awesome sound they make when they transform is now my ring tone. Shia LaBouf carries this movie, and should be given a huge round of applause. Before this he was only in some tween Disney Comedies, but here really shines. If we don't like his character, we just don't by this movie, and he not only like him, but root for him. Megan Fox, his love interest, is so hot she seems almost like she is made from CGI, but is also is a well rounded character in her own right. Now I know that the robots are all CGI, but WOW. The T-rex in Jurassic Park seems like a child's crayon drawing compared to these guys.
I know your thinking "Hey Christian, what about Ratatouille(**)? You are a Pixar freak, so you loved this, right?" Nope. This movie disappointed me more than any other movie I have seen this summer. I freely admit my huge love of all Pixar movies, and had very high hopes for this movie. All the adds, every trailer I saw made me want to not only see this movie, but want to buy it. The reality is there is just not much here. The characters never develop, and the story, what little their is of it, meanders around with no purpose. It is, however, the most beautiful animated movie I have ever seen. Beyond photo realistic, it makes me want to go to Paris, even though we hate the French and the closest we want to get is the Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas. And, lets be honest, the whole notion of a rat cooking just skeeves me out.
Well, we still have The Simpson's Movie
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