How I feel about "Twilight"

TA DA!

UPDATE:
Okay, it the realm of total disclosure, as most of you know I work in Wal-mart as a vendor. My company does the CD's, Music, DVD's, and, well, the books. Twilight, and the 3 other books in the series, have made me quite a bit of money lately. I have been selling them like they have crack in them ever since right before the movie came out. I would fill up my book table with them on Friday, and come back on Monday and find them all gone. This causes me a moral quandary. On one hand, I'm all about maken the monies. I would sell a book by Satan written by Sadam Hussein, and proudly display it...if it sold. The minute it doesn't, I'd pull it faster than you can say "Satan Focker".

On the other hand, while I did enjoy the books, I really don't get this whole "Vampires are Tragic Figures" genre that has sprung up in the past few years. Stephanie Myers tapped into 2 markets that are pretty much money makers right now: Tween Girls and Vampires. There are some really good Vampire books out there. Two of my favorites are the Laurell K. Hamilton and her Anita Blake series (kinda an Adult Buffie Series) and Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse books (a hit HBO Series that is nowhere as good as the books).

I blame all this on Anne Rice and her crappy Lestat books. I really hate them. They are boring, and just stoopid. "Ahh my life is terrible because I am hot and live forever...aahhh pooorrr me" Puhleeze. Bite me, and I mean that literally. It is very simple. Vampires are predators. They live off feeding from us. We are, in the words of Spike, "Walking Happy Meals" to them. This whole idea that they are honorable, tragic beings is just psudosexual bullshit. Its projecting their wishes of living forever as a hot rock star on something that sees them as their next meal. It would be like Chic-fil-a Sammichs writing books about me.

Now if you love them, good for ya. If you think Edward is the sexiest thing to walk the Earth, you go girl. I just don't get it. I think there are much worst things to be obsessed with, like Hello Kitty, or those Fake Dolls that look like real Babys. Those are seriously focked up.

Double Update:
Well the movie has come out, and man am I whoring it good. It came out on a Friday, and I had to go in after the store closed to make sure it came out when the store opened. Came back in on Monday, and was sold out of both the books and the movie. Again, I am torn. Monies vs. Taste. Guess which wins? HMMMMMMM

Thank god the election is over.

The major reason I haven't been blogging much this year is my vow when I started this blog not to blog on politics. I don't talk politics with people cause it never ends well. And I wanted this blog to be about kewl stuff, and my opinions on things that just don't matter: i.e. me. So, for the last few months I swore off posting just because I knew if I did, I would slip up and start ranting about how we are getting shivved by our elected officials, and how both of the candidates make a Crap Sandwich and a Giant Douche seem like good choices. This is the first year I didn't even review the summer blockbusters because of this. So, quickly, here are my reviews:

Iron Man (****) Fracken Rocked.

Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull (**) Right there with ya until the last 15 minutes, the it was all WTF?!?!

The Hulk (***) So much better than the first one, and has Iron Man in it!!

The Dark Knight (*****) Dude. Just focken awesome. Dude.

Wall-e (****) Its hard now to say what my favorite Pixar Movie is, but now its a 3 way tie between Wall-E, The Incredibles, and Toy Story 2. Prettiest. Movie. Ever.

Speed Racer (**) How da fock can you make a movie with such kewl racing sequances be so fracken boring? HOW?

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
(****) I wasn't sure they could top the first one, but wow did the ever. I wanna live in Narnia, but thats not news to anyone who knows me.

Kung Fu Panda (***.5) Wow, a Jack Black movie I don't' want to commit suicide in the middle of.

Get Smart (***) Wow, a Steve Correl movie I don't want to commit suicide in the middle of. And has my future Ex Wife Anne Hathaway.

Wanted (**.5) Would have liked it better if I didn't hate the lead character so much as such a winy lil bitch.

Hancock (***)See previous comment, but does redeem himself in the end.

Hellboy 2 (***.5) I didn't like it as much as the first, but still really a good time all the way around.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (***) Um...what I just said. But, I did like that they acknowledged there are other kinds of Mummy's besides Egyptian. And had no ex-Mrs. Germany Rachel Weis.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars(***) I thought I was supposed to hate this. Hmmm. Maybe cause I am old and remember the dark times when we had no Star Wars besides the gawd awful Holiday Special.

You will notice the absence of some big movies, such as Zohan, Love Guru, and most especially, The Happening. That was because I didn't see those steeking piles of poop. I have sworn off M. Night's movies ever since that abortion Lady in the Water. I gave him some leeway with The Village (but how da fock does a blind girl get into and out of the forest without help?) but that bloated waste of time made me totally sign off on him. The Airbender movie he is working on now better cure cancer for me to see it.

Just in time for the Simpsons Movie, here is how I would look as a denizon of Springfield:





And here I am hanging with my Buds at Moes...and yes, i am the designated driver. Damn that rock!!! Why are you always beaten by Paper!!!!

THE GREATEST TRAILER OF ALL TIME