Thursday, November 20, 2008

Thank god the election is over.

The major reason I haven't been blogging much this year is my vow when I started this blog not to blog on politics. I don't talk politics with people cause it never ends well. And I wanted this blog to be about kewl stuff, and my opinions on things that just don't matter: i.e. me. So, for the last few months I swore off posting just because I knew if I did, I would slip up and start ranting about how we are getting shivved by our elected officials, and how both of the candidates make a Crap Sandwich and a Giant Douche seem like good choices. This is the first year I didn't even review the summer blockbusters because of this. So, quickly, here are my reviews:

Iron Man (****) Fracken Rocked.

Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull (**) Right there with ya until the last 15 minutes, the it was all WTF?!?!

The Hulk (***) So much better than the first one, and has Iron Man in it!!

The Dark Knight (*****) Dude. Just focken awesome. Dude.

Wall-e (****) Its hard now to say what my favorite Pixar Movie is, but now its a 3 way tie between Wall-E, The Incredibles, and Toy Story 2. Prettiest. Movie. Ever.

Speed Racer (**) How da fock can you make a movie with such kewl racing sequances be so fracken boring? HOW?

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
(****) I wasn't sure they could top the first one, but wow did the ever. I wanna live in Narnia, but thats not news to anyone who knows me.

Kung Fu Panda (***.5) Wow, a Jack Black movie I don't' want to commit suicide in the middle of.

Get Smart (***) Wow, a Steve Correl movie I don't want to commit suicide in the middle of. And has my future Ex Wife Anne Hathaway.

Wanted (**.5) Would have liked it better if I didn't hate the lead character so much as such a winy lil bitch.

Hancock (***)See previous comment, but does redeem himself in the end.

Hellboy 2 (***.5) I didn't like it as much as the first, but still really a good time all the way around.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (***) Um...what I just said. But, I did like that they acknowledged there are other kinds of Mummy's besides Egyptian. And had no ex-Mrs. Germany Rachel Weis.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars(***) I thought I was supposed to hate this. Hmmm. Maybe cause I am old and remember the dark times when we had no Star Wars besides the gawd awful Holiday Special.

You will notice the absence of some big movies, such as Zohan, Love Guru, and most especially, The Happening. That was because I didn't see those steeking piles of poop. I have sworn off M. Night's movies ever since that abortion Lady in the Water. I gave him some leeway with The Village (but how da fock does a blind girl get into and out of the forest without help?) but that bloated waste of time made me totally sign off on him. The Airbender movie he is working on now better cure cancer for me to see it.

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