Finally, hot Muppet Sex. And a Rainy Tuesday.

I know I know, I've only been promising this for like 3 days, but hey, its Vegas...

So, Monday, I went up to The Wynn, the single ugliest hotel in the history of man. Wow...It took 2 billion dollars to create this ugly ass place. Even my auntie, who has a history of tacky (she had gold velvet wallpaper for pete's sake), would go "Damn..this is ugly".

But I had hear great things about the buffet, so I decided to try it out. After having to wait 30 minutes, I finally got seated. Here's the pic:



What did I tell ya? Freaken ugly..... But the food was great. Lamb chops, Prime Rib, Blackened Tuna, Jamaican Jerk Chicken for the first course, followed by Pasta Alfredo with Sweet Italian sausage. It was the desserts, however, that made it sweet. Creme Bruile, Caramel Brulle, Cheesecake with blueberrys..all bite size so ya don't realize that you are eating something with 2000 calories. That's just what I had, tons of other desserts, including candied apples!!

Then off to Avenue Q. This one the Tony in 2004 for best musical, and it was hilarious!! The best to describe it as Sesame Street for Adults, in that the main characters are puppets, and it is formatted like a kid's show. Its about a new graduated who gets his first apartment, and how he becomes friends with the menagerie around him. And his super is Gary Coleman. Ya...that Gary Coleman. As played by a short black woman. Dude...lol.

Midway through you totally stop noticing the guys running the puppets and focus on them. Well....except for the smoken hot girlie running Kate Monster, Terry Stewart. Wow...very saucy...I was in love. LOL My favorite songs from it are "Everyone is a Little Bit Racist" or "The Internet is for Porn". Oh, and full frontal Muppet sex accomponied by the song "Its okay to be a Little Bit Loud When Making Love" Hightly enjoyable, with a great theatre that is like a one of the theatre's with stadium seating.

Nothing to report for Tuesday. It rained, was cloudy, and just a quiet day. Some lunch, wandered the hotel, and read. Dinner was the highlight, at a place called "Ellis Island", which is right off the strip behind Ballys. Way old school kinda Vegas place. It has been here forever. After waiting 45 minutes, I finally got seated. They have an awesome 5 dollar steak dinner that includes a Salad, Baked Potato, Green Beans, and a 10 ounce Carlin. YUM. On top of that, they are a microbrewery. So with my fabo dinner I had an Ale, and a Lager. And the best Root Beer (yes, root beer), I have ever had. All of this was for 10 dollars. Couldn't beat it with a stick. The thing is that as I was walking back to the hotel it started to mist, then sprinkle, then POUR. Just as I got back to the hotel, it started raining like it was going out of style. Wow. It rains in Vegas...

Tomorrow... Sir Elton John.

Some more Vacations pics.

I thought I would just post a bunch of pics that I have taken. This way, there is not much of that horrible reading thing goen on. Here we go!


Some dancer's at the Paris. Did like 2 or three dances at the entrance to the Casino to songs like "All that Jazz". Corny, but really hot girls.


A really bad pic of the fountains outside Caesars' Palace. On Wendsday, I see ELTON JOHN there.



Outside the Jimmy Buffett Restraunt, Margaritaville. Really good food, plus my other Gawd's music playing continuously. Has a full airplane hanging inside. Of course, when I went, I had a Cheeseburger In Paradise...





The Arc De Triumph outside the Paris. Man do I love this hotel. Which is a paradox seeing how much I hate the french. hmmmmm........

The only way to Sightsee.

So I decided to do a bit more sightseeing today. I decided to go the opposite way, that is north up the strip. I started at Ballys, where they have this kewl sliding walkway that takes you to the strip. Next to it is this very beautiful topariary.


So, up the street I go. Last time I was there, this walk was pure torture. 110 degrees is no fun. This time, it was like 68 with a nice breeze. So it was actually fun. Lots of freaken people however. How can you not see me!??! I am the size of a car. Yet people walk into..Or just stop. WTF. Sheesh.

So when I got to the Venetian, I popped in to look around. Look at this beautiful bar:


I think the Venetian is one of the most classy, wonderful place on the strip. Then we get to the Anti-Venetian: The Wynn. Dude...This place is the ugliest thing I have ever seen.




It looks like an office building on the outside, with this ginourmous forest bordering it. The waterfall wasn't working, but I don't think this will actually help. Then these huge stone lions outside the front entrance....Like he hired 8 different designers, and only took their tackiest ideas. The inside however....Whoa. More on that later.

Now like an Idiot I kept walking...and walking...and walking.....until I realized that I was an idiot. So I crossed the street and waited for the bus. Vegas has the really kewl double decker busses that go up and down the strip. Its 2 dollars a ride or 5 bucks for 24 hours. What a bargain. So I rode back the way I came in air conditioned comfort.

I wish the sign had come out better. It says that Gilly's offers... Bikini Bull Riding. Dude. I would watch that show. Oh, and mud wrestling. How 1980's can ya get?

Across from the Wynn is the Fashion Mall. Freaken ginourmous, with a wicked kewl Apple store in it. And some other stuff, but like I care. APPLE STORE. I played with this 32" monitor with a G5 connected to a cable modem....ssssswwweeeeettttt.


Loook!!! A church!!! Dude...I wonder how the slots are there.


Went past Treasure Island, where they have nightly Pirate Battles. I watched a bit of it on the way back from seeing Avenue Q. Very kewl, I just wished I could have gotten closer to it, but it was very kewl. Not as big an area as you would think. And a kewl Skull Rock. Wow!



At the Mirage, they have giant Idols to Sigmund and Roy, the 2 that made that hotel a success. Tragically, as most everyone knows, one of them (I have no idea which) was almost eaten by one of their famous white tigers. All that's left is their Dolphin Garden and these giant bronze statues that are worshipped by Japanese visitors.


So I finally got back to my hotel. It took the same amount of time for me to ride back to the hotel as it took me to walk it. I, again, am an idiot.

Alrighty, that's enough for now....Next...Hot Muppett SEX

Penn and Teller

Are my new gawds. Really. Funny that ardent atheists would inspire a religion, but what can ya do?

Seriously, I am huge fans of theirs for years now, and was very jazzed about seeing them this year. I missed seeing them last year because my flight was delayed 8 hours, and I got in way late. This time I knew I would get in in plenty of time, so I went ahead and got tickets for Sunday night.
Kewl thing is that Balleys and the Rio, the hotel that Penn and Teller (from now on PNT cause it takes forever to type the other) perform at, are owned by the same megacorperation. So they offer a shuttle service between the hotels. Very sweet, as walking to the Rio is really dangerous as they are across the interstate from where I am staying. So, rode over, got my tickets, but had like an hours wait even before they opened the doors. So a couple of vodka martinis and a nice cigar kept me company.

My seats were front row center. SWEET. After getting seated, part of the PNT show is that they allow the audience to come on stage before the show starts and touch and observe some props that they plan on using in the show. This time it was a large wooden box, and a bulletin board with today's date and a sealed envelope on it. We were asked to come up and sign the envelope, which I did, and examine the box, which I did not. They did the same thing with the boxes when I was here a couple of years ago, so I know the trick with it.

So the show starts and I am just grooving on it. The good thing about seeing it more than once is that they change the show often, so new stuff is added all the time, and old stuff taken out. This time there were several new bits I had never seen, like one involving different sizes of Animal Traps, such as they used to capture animals for their pelts, and Teller risking life and limb to snatch the bait off them to make a sammich. One bit left in was the only one where Teller speaks in it. The thing is he has a wood chipper on stage with him, running very loudly, so you never hear what he says.

This is a card trick where he has an audience member choose a card, tears off the corner and gives it to that participant, then replaces the card in the deck and throws the deck in the woodchipper. As the pieces of cards flys out, he catches the car that was chosen. And who did he pick to help him with this? Why that would be me. YES!!! WOOO HOOO it was so freaken cool. After the trick was over he let me keep the card, which I got signed by him and Penn after the show was over. One of the amazing things is that they will stay after the show in the lobby and sign tons of autographs. Very kewl guys.

I floated home, so happy about what happened. I could almost have come home after that, it made my whole trip.

Well, almost...But of course I didn't. LOL

No pics, cause the lighting in the theater didn't agree with my digital. Its very light sensitive, and will be blinded by light sometime. I did take pics with my disposable, so after I get them developed, I will post them.

More tomorrow....Sightseeing, and Avenue Q.

Luncheon and Sightseeing

And boy did I luncheon. Most places I can make a buffet rue my precence. Here, I am there bitch. Sheesh the amount of food and the varieties of food....The Bally's buffett when I went had Chinese food, all their breakfast foods plus an omelate maker, tons of meat dishes, lots of vegies, pasta, Crab Legs, and...Prime Rib. Holy mother...Prime Rib. I loves me some Prime Rib. I had a huge end piece with herb cooked red potatos and mashed sweet Potatos. And for dessert:



Bread Pudding, Eclaires (OH MY GOSH good), Banana's Foster, and this cream cake that just melted in my mouth. Dude...I have to double up on my diabetes meds...lol

Then I went sightseeing. I went south from my hotel towards the MGM grand. Since Balleys and the Paris are pretty much one hotel, I started there. I love the Paris. One of the nicest hotels on the strip, in my opinion. The interiour is set up like a street in Paris, and the cieling is painted to look like either early morning or late evening. Its just so freaken cool.


Along the way I passed the Alladin

Which is very sweet looken, but has a ton of work going on there.



This is mega sweet.





And they had all these awesome bikes parked outside. It was very kewl.

Finally, I got to the MGM.

Now, what I didn't take pictures of was the strip malls between these things. Its amazing. Billion Doller Hotel followed by rinky dink Strip Mall selling t-shirts or scooter rides and other junk. Imagine how much that property is worth!!! Wow.

Anyways, at the MGM they have a big part of the hotel that is dedicated to Viacom: i.e. CBS, Nickelodeon, and so on. They have this program where you sign up, and watch one of their shows, then fill out a survey about the show. Last year I did it, and saw a preview of that Chris Rock show on UPN "Everyone Hates Chris", wich I now Tivo every week. This time? UGH... A show called "Sell This House". I am ssssssssoooooo over these makeover shows. I've seen it, cause my parents love the show. Me? again, UGH. But, it was an hour in air conditioning sitting down, and they give you some sweet coupons.

Then I got back, got ready, and took the shuttle over to the Rio to see Penn and Teller. That will be a whole post on its own....

Well I got here...

And, actually, had a great Southwest flight getting here. I know I know...Your thinken that I must be on crack. How can Cattlecar of the Sky's actually produce an excellent flight? By only being half full. Don't ask me how it happened, but it sure did. Since 9/11, I haven't been on a flight that was so full they were duct taping people to the roof to get them in. This flight? I had the entire last 4 rows to myself. I won't bore you with why I sit in the back, just call it paranoia and move on.

This trip actually started yesterday. I traveled to Lubbock, about 100 miles away, and spent the night to catch my flight. Living in the boonies definitely has its drawbacks, and that is one of them. We have to go 2 hours to the nearest airport, and then most of the time its not a direct flight. You instead have to fly to Dallas or Houston to connect to another plane. Major hassle. The only direct flights are on Southwest, which I usually avoid like I avoid Broccoli. This time, however, the flight was just to damn cheap not to take advantage of.

A funny coincidence is that another rep for my company that usually would be covering for me on this trip is on vacation herself. To Vegas. And left on the same flight I did. It was too funny. Now she got a package deal and is staying at the Mandalay. I'm at Ballys, which is fine by me. She's on her 25th Wedding anniversary trip with her hubby, the first they have taken in years.

Here's Diane and her Policeman Hubbie.

My room is very nice. Not the Pimp Room I had last year, but a very nice room. Large, with a couch, a killer desk and Chair that I want to figure out how to get in my luggage.


The only bump so far has been the taxi ride, cause I was an idiot and allowed the driver to take the tunnel. Look, if you come out here and take a taxi, and the dude says he will take you "the fastest way", Say "Sure, as long as it ain't the Tunnel". The Airport tunnel leads to the interstate, which is faster, BUT TWICE AS LONG which means it costs twice as much. DOH!! I new this!! Man...what a tourist...but, its Vegas...

Right now, I am starving. So I think a trip to the Bally's buffet is in order. Great buffet, for a good price, with a wonderful view of the strip. Then some sightseeing. Tonight I am off to the Rio to see my hero's Penn and Teller. I saw them when my buddies and I went out here a couple of years a go, and was blown away. I am a huge fan of theirs, especially their Showtime show Bullshit, where they go after all the pretensios bastards in the world, like Conspiracy Theorists or Life Coaches, or, my fave, Bottle water drinkers. Dude...its water...

More later.

Vacation blogging and the miracle of Zicam.

When i created this lovely site, I wanted to get back into the swing of writing. Lke anything, writing needs to be practiced. I am terribly out of practice, and need to flex those muscles again. So, I plan on blogging bout my upcoming vacation. Its a way for me to share the experience with my friends and family without having to type this thing like 20 times. Alright, 2...but thats alot.

Anyways, I leave on Sunday for my vacation, and have been fighting off a cold. I am here sing the praises of a wonder drug called Zicam. Zicam advertises that it will not only shorten the length of your cold, but the severity of your symptoms. Now, I am Mr. Suspicisous when it comes to the whole homeopathic crap. Its just a drug, whether its made out of St John's Wart or chemicals. Both affect the body, both are injested. Just because one is advertised as "natural" doesn't mean nothen. Arsenic is natural, but I don't want to injest it. Lead is natural, but who wants to eat more than a few pain chips?

This crap works. Zicam comes is different forms, from a jell you shoot up your nose, to these fast dissolving pills I used that you just put in your mouth and let melt away.... I started them a week ago when i got my first sore throat. A week later, besides a little cough, I have had no real symptoms. Usually by now i would be congested, wishing god wold take me home. I still wish to go home, but not because of how bad I feel. Take this stuff...in whateever form doesn't skeeve you out.

Anyways, check back for more about my trip.